Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.

It's funny because it's funny.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.