Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

Success? You can't get a big head about it. When people stare at me, they could be whispering to their friend, "That guy sucks! Have you seen him before? He's horrible."

It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.