I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

It's funny because it's funny.