I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.

I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!