Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!
I never dated much in high school or college.
I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.
The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"
I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.
You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.