I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

I'm always making fun of myself and my friends.