In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!

I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.