No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.