It's hard for your mom to tell you she has an oral fixation and has to have something in her mouth. My step dad is in the kitchen winking at me. You down with OPP, yeah you know me. Exciting is and a special... What? Easy, and why do you know all the words? That's weird.

In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

I feel like I've got this anti-marriage thing, but it's less that and more I'm overthinking it to get it right.

Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

My school of thought is, anything goes, but I can't do that anymore.

Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!