You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

It's brutal. I see friends when their shows don't work. Everything's riding on making money and all the pressure and how people scatter when fortunes turn downward.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.