It's good to do stand-up. It kind of wakes you up and makes you feel like you're doing something. You got the crowd right there. That's all fun.

It's hard to have a career.

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.