MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

Sometimes when I watch a TV season, your favorite shows die quickly. And then sometimes it's not your favorite, and they live on for 12 years.

It's funny because it's funny.

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.