I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

It's so crazy in Hollywood.