I have no stories to sell. A lot of my relationships are with civilians, and no one wants to hear about those.

With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

I've got people who like Tommy Boy, but they're getting older and there's a whole new wave of college kids who see that and Joe Dirt, and Just Shoot Me is a little older, so I wanted stuff for everybody.

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.