On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.
The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"
Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.
When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.
I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.
Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.