I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.
Your love made it all worth waiting for some like you.
When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.