Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument - as in having a fight.

When those closest to us respond to events differently than we do, when they seem to see the same scene as part of a different play, when they say things that we could not imagine saying in the same circumstances, the ground on which we stand seems to tremble and our footing is suddenly unsure.

Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.

In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.

The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship.

Each underestimates her own power and overestimates the other's