Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.

any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.

[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence

Relationships are made of talk - and talk is for girls and women.

When those closest to us respond to events differently than we do, when they seem to see the same scene as part of a different play, when they say things that we could not imagine saying in the same circumstances, the ground on which we stand seems to tremble and our footing is suddenly unsure.

Some days you just want to get dressed and go about your business. But if you're a woman, you can't, because there is no unmarked woman.