I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Skeet shooting is probably more satisfying if you really hate skeets.

Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.

I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!