I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.

Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.

Conclusions are based in time. We live in time. So any definition of success is bound up with time. With other things you can say, "Can I yo-yo? Can I juggle?" Usually you have a pretty small window in which to get your answer. Stand-up is different. You can't do stand-up for one night and say, "Am I a funny stand-up comedian?" In two months or two years you'll start to realize it.

Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.