I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.

There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

I just know keeping track of what I'm doing and where I'm going is important to me.

If you remove a treehouse from a tree, than it's just a shitty house. Sometimes when i'm in a shitty house, I like to imagine that it's in a tree, than it's like Woah, this house is amazing.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".