Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.

It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.

100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.