Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.

I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.

A squirrel is the same as a can, when there's a bb gun in my hand. Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions... and comparisons.

If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.

I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.

In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard.