To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.

I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'

I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.

One thing you never hear is "Man that guy is good at badminton".

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.