To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Canoe plus waterfall equals I don't go camping anymore.
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left.'
If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.
To me, comedy is a game.