When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

My policy is 'No stone throwing regardless of housing situation.'

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

A squirrel is the same as a can, when there's a bb gun in my hand. Can't you see that I am just a man? With distinctions... and comparisons.

I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.

I wonder how they deal with mice at Disney World.

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that's what makes life hopeful.