Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.

If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live."