Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.