When people show me pictures of their kids, it's okay. But when I give them a picture of me, to show to their kids, I'm weird. What kind of one way street is that?

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

Once I started to look i finally began to see.