Once I started to look i finally began to see.

I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. "Keep sleeping." All right, perfect.'

When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

Artistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.

Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.

When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.