Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.

Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.

When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.