I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

The sofa is the enemy of productivity.

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.

A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.

It's weird to make a decision where everyone in your life disapproves, pretty vocally and directly. They said, "You've got one year left. Just do it." I had a full scholarship so I didn't have to pay for it. They asked, "Why don't you just get the degree so you can have it?" And I said, "You don't understand. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and now I know. I have the answer and it's dumb to waste any more time."

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.