For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.
Demetri MartinAutomatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.
Demetri MartinI wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.
Demetri MartinI bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.
Demetri Martin