If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.

I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.

There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.

100% of the people who give 110% do not understand math.