Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.

In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard.

My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.

Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.