Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.

I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.

I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

A glove is a very literal looking hand puppet.

If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.