I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.

My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork.

If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

I didn't play music, nobody in my family had an instrument or played music, we didn't even have any books at my house. I think about it and I'm like, I don't know how I climbed out of there.