I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.