How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.

I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.