I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.

Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.

When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

A sports bar is a way to take a bar and fill it with even more annoying people than usual.