I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.

I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.