I don't know if I'll ever be a master at anything, but I think that's a mistake for me personally. I don't know how much it's about the journey, but it's more about the process.

When I'm buying car insurance I ask myself, 'Which company has the most annoying and relentless commercials?'

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

Have a great day. Note: does not apply to my enemies.

I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.