A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.

Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.

I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.

Most stick people are black.