I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.

Jumping jacks are easier to do than crawling jacks.

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.