I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.
Popcorn is one of the only situations in which you eat the result of an explosion.
A straw enables you to drink without using your wrist. A straw is your friend - until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then it will betray you and make you look like an idiot.
'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.
When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.
Sometimes I see a bird fly by and I feel jealous. But then other times I see a bird fly into a closed window and I feel laughing.