I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
Demetri MartinA lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.
Demetri MartinAs a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.
Demetri MartinThe thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri Martin