One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.

If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.

I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.