I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

I think as a performer, it can be really great to stand on stage, especially when you have more time, but I do think about the specific people in the audience, how it's hard for them to get up and go to the bathroom, how they chose not to do other things that night and have turned off their phones and everything. So for that reason, I think it's necessary to mix it up and talk to the audience.

Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

I don't like thank you cards because I don't know what else to say. What do I put on the inside? See Front.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.

I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.