I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.