I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

Mosquito bites Jesus, receives communion.

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.

I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.