Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.
If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.
If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.
I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.