I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.
Demetri MartinThe plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.
Demetri MartinThe thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri MartinI travel alone so much, and the first thought is to grab the damn phone. In airports, just look around. Nobody looks at anybody, or even out the window. It's obvious we can't live without it anymore, and as a comic on the road the phone is an essential tool. It's probably doing more good than bad for me, but it does make me sad that those of us who grew up without mobile phones, we know what we're missing.
Demetri Martin