I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.
Demetri MartinI was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.
Demetri MartinI like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.
Demetri Martin