When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.

I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.

I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.

There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.