When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.

A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.