Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

Man versus woman equals fun. Man versus man equals gay. Woman versus woman equals awesome. Man versus pillow equals crazy. Pillow versus pillow equals crazy awesome - that's a real pillow fight right there. You see two pillows fighting, you know something's going down. They're designed for relaxation. If they're fighting, what hope do we have? One time I saw two geese fighting, and I was like, 'This is a pillow fight ahead of time.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

I like people, for a little while.

The earth without art is just eh.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.