I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I've heard of many chocoholics, but I ain't never seen no "chocohol". We got an epidemic, people: people who like chocolate but don't understand word endings. They're probably "over-workaholled".

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'