It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.
Demetri MartinWhen I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.
Demetri MartinThe comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.
Demetri MartinA lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'
Demetri Martin