I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

I'm afraid of sharks - but only in a water situation.

It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.

The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?

When they were naming vitamins they must have thought there were going to be way more vitamins than there ended up being. OK let's name these: Vitamin A, Vitamin B... ok man slow down we've got a lot to cover here. B2, B3, B4, B5, B6, B12. Then they got to E and they were like 'We're pretty much done. We've got all those damn B's. This is embarrassing. Let's just skip to K and get the hell out of here.