I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.

When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

A lot of people don't like bumper stickers. I don't mind bumper stickers. To me a bumper sticker is a shortcut. It's like a little sign that says 'Hey, let's never hang out.'

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.