The problem with my balloon collection is that people always think there's a party. Settle down. It's not a party. It's just balloons.
Demetri MartinIt's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
Demetri MartinWhen I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.
Demetri Martin