I think cats would have an even worse attitude if they found out how stupid their names were.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.

Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.

Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.

I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'

I was on the train the other day, and I heard somebody say, I'm really good at checkers. That's the same thing as saying, I'm not good at very many things.