When someone shows you a picture of their kids what they don't want to hear is Oh, yeah, I got pictures of your kid too.

This is a pie chart about procrastination.

But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me.

It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

If I were blind, I'd wear a blindfold all the time.

I think there are so many little hurdles and impediments with stand-up that you'd need to have this insane desire to do it if you didn't have something that clicked right away.

I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.