I like playing frisbee. It is the only sport where you can throw something at a person and it's okay.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

We do not allow dwarf tossing. If you toss a dwarf, the dwarf will be tossed right back at you, but faster.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.

I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.