The definition of adventure depends upon how boring your life is.

I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.

If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.

My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.