I never give anyone just one congratulation. Congratulations are always plural. They are similar to grapes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.

I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.